Sunday, March 19, 2006

Take a left!

Don't panic. Yes, I know there's a detour sign up ahead, but it's a fake. It was put there by a band of criminals who are trying to rob the armored car marked "U.S. Treasury." They set up the same detour back in '04, and, when the truck went right instead of left, they were waiting to ambush it and steal everything in the truck.

I know they're telling you there are "Godless Communists" lurking to the left, but they're just scarecrows set up to frighten you. The REAL "Godless Communists" are so ineffectual that they're little more than a running joke anymore.

What's REALLY around the bend if you take a left turn? Well, let's see.

-A way out of an unpopular war. Rather than appointing ideologues that base their decisions on what they'd LIKE to be true, the Democratic Party will listen to people with real world experience in dealing with actual warfare.

-Affordable Healthcare for all. Americans have admitted they'd like to be able to get medical care without going deep in debt in the process.

-A budget that makes sense. Yes, rather than spending billions of dollars we don't have, the Democratic Party will put a cap on spending and return some fiscal sanity to the government by cutting back on corporate welfare and making sure everyone pays their fair share.

-A TRUE coalition of the willing. With the Democratic Party in control, we'll be able to actually make and keep valuable connections to other countries to help track down, capture, and prosecute terrorists.

-Sound environmental policies. Instead of granting big corporations more power to poison us and our children, the Democratic Party will work to ensure that the water we drink and the air we breathe is clean and safe for everyone.

-Clean, renewable energy. The Democratic Party will create a new "Apollo Project" to seek new sources of energy to release us from bondage to the Oil Cartels and the profiteering of the oil companies.

-Self respect. America will finally be able to stand proud and say "we did away with rendition, torture, illegal wars of aggression and held the people responsible accountable."

-Privacy. The Democratic Party believes that the Constitution should be respected, and the 4th Amendment shouldn't be ignored on a whim.If all of this sounds good to you, please ignore the detour signs and take a left in November. If you truly want what's best for America and Americans, it's the best turn you could make.


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