Warning

this is satire.

Rush Limbaugh: "We are losing this war for the hearts and minds of America," remarked the portly pundit. "We give the libs too much ammunition to use against us. They call us 'chickenhawks' and accuse us of not wanting to make the sacrifices to fight a war we support.

Well, I want all good Conservative Americans out there to look inside themselves and decide, right then and there, if they've got what it takes to stand up for this war. Then, if you're not too old or infirm, I want you to march down to the nearest recruiter and sign up to serve your country. If you're unable to do this, strongly recommend to your children they step forward and do their duty."

A few hours later, Bill O'Reilly announced that he was going to spend the next 9 months in Iraq, getting up close and personal with the troops. He wants "to show America what it's really like over here--how the left wing exaggerates the danger in order to undermine the war effort."

After all," he added, "it's not nearly as dangerous as Houston."


Satire brought to you by the fevered imagination of Science-Fantasy author Saje Williams.