News from the War

"Battle Lines are blurred in Iraq,"
says CNN. I was just watching a story on CNN about the three women who died today from a suicide bombing attack on a convoy, and that there's no way to protect women from death in combat in Iraq.

They actually used the phrase "the lines are blurred."Blurred? Really? How about freakin' non-existent? As one female soldier said in an interview--"you see someone standing down the street and you don't know if he's an enemy or not."

Basically, they're suffering the same problem they suffered in Vietnam. They can't identify the enemy until they're under attack.

The pentagon says it can't do without the vital roles women play in Iraq...they need them at checkpoints to search the women "in respect for muslim tradition."

Over a hundred women have died in Iraq so far, the vast majority from combat-related causes. There are over 10,000 female troops there, and they are as much at risk as the men.

This realization, put across so clearly on CNN, can only turn more of the public against the war.It's quite likely possible that this war will prove to be the wooden stake shoved into the Republican Party's (alleged) heart.

They're running out of justifications, excuses, and time. And they know it. With three female soldiers slain in one fell swoop, it drives home an inescapable truth...it's not just our "boys" dying over there, but our "girls" too.

And I don't think the American Public is going to take that very well.

Warning

this is satire.

Rush Limbaugh: "We are losing this war for the hearts and minds of America," remarked the portly pundit. "We give the libs too much ammunition to use against us. They call us 'chickenhawks' and accuse us of not wanting to make the sacrifices to fight a war we support.

Well, I want all good Conservative Americans out there to look inside themselves and decide, right then and there, if they've got what it takes to stand up for this war. Then, if you're not too old or infirm, I want you to march down to the nearest recruiter and sign up to serve your country. If you're unable to do this, strongly recommend to your children they step forward and do their duty."

A few hours later, Bill O'Reilly announced that he was going to spend the next 9 months in Iraq, getting up close and personal with the troops. He wants "to show America what it's really like over here--how the left wing exaggerates the danger in order to undermine the war effort."

After all," he added, "it's not nearly as dangerous as Houston."


Satire brought to you by the fevered imagination of Science-Fantasy author Saje Williams.

A burning question

What if 1000 people stood down the street from the capitol building and burned 1000 flag posters made out of paper?

What if a performance artist smashed a TV with a flag on the screen?

What if we created little burning-flag animated signatures?

What if we created a book filled with photos of the flag and burned THAT?

What if we sold flag toilet paper? To France?

Missing person report

"911."
"Yes, I'd like to report an abduction."
"Who was abducted, sir (or ma'am)?"
"My sister."
"What is her name, sir?"
"Liberty."
"Her name is Liberty? Liberty what?"
"American Liberty."
"I see. Liberty is her LAST name. When was she abducted?"
"I'm not exactly sure, but I noticed she was missing on Nov 2nd, 2000."
"I see, sir. And why has it taken you so long to call us about this?"
"Well, the bastards that took her told me it was for her own good, and that they'd bring her back when she was safe."
"And now?"
"And now I'm afraid they'll NEVER bring her back."
"Well, we'll send someone around to take a report, but I must admit I'm not very optimistic. It's been a long time and, usually, when someone has been missing this long, it's rare that we find them alive and well."
"Thank you." (sobbing)